Vibram Five Fingers

Sounds dirty don't it? Well, it's not.

The Vibram Five Fingers shoes are what is passing for my latest running related fun. Vibram calls it barefooting. The shoes are essentially a thin, stretchy fabric with a tough, rubber compound sole. My Flows have a neoprene lining and EVA footbed.

They have individual toe compartments and are akin to running barefoot. The individual toes allow the foot (and toes) to spread at impact, as is natural. Gone is the heel strike promoted by the usual running shoe, as the Five Fingers are meant to encourage mid-foot striking.

The folks at Vibram say it might take a bit to adjust, but I wasn't much of a heel striker anyway. This is the way my feet want to run. I trail run for the most part and the sole is plenty to avoid pain from any random pointy things on the ground. The lightness is a joy and I have significantly reduced my tally of ankle turns - something I am intimately familiar with due to the combination of running terrain and my running partner and which was not helped in the least by my shoes.

I'll admit that putting them on out of the box, my initial reaction was "what the fuck is wrong with my toes" as it didn't seem like they wanted anything to do with the seemingly natural configuration of the Fingers. However, that went away quickly and I find no issue pulling them on since that initial try.

These things are fooking cool. I have no idea to what degree (literally) these will suffice in the Chicago winter, but I'm going to find out (the Injinji toe socks should help a little).

Bite Me

I am taking a moment to rant some more about language. I know I make words up, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone should do it. Language is a living thing. Don't let anything be a roadblock to the constant reinvention of language.

That said.....mouthfeel? Are you fucking kidding me?

I know I'm biased since I first heard it uttered by some bottled water company spokesfucker. Nevertheless, could you come up with a word that has worse mouthfeel than mouthfeel? It sits like a turd on your tongue and it sounds like a burbling ass fissure.

Why wasn't texture good enough for you? Do you think you actually invented a new sense? Do you think it will convince me to buy your overpriced water? Tactile sensation sounds much cooler doesn't it?

Bad enough that shyster snake oil salesmen are using it to differentiate their water (usually bottled from your municipal supplies) from your tap, but now I see it in food blogs and forums. I gather it's been around a bit and I'm sure you freaky beer brewers have been using it for years in musty, dark corners, but if I hear a coworker spew this bit of verbiage at lunch, I'm going to fork him (or her) in the bum. Nothing ruins a thing like some pompous fuckwit trying to impress.

Living Lo Pan

As David Lo Pan once said, "I must sacrifice you. But I love you and I need you." I'm sure we can all sympathize.

Living Lohan, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter.

These damn shows keep popping up. I don't know who the fuck thinks people care, but we, the viewing public, just keep watching anyway. We sit glassy-eyed and drunk, drooling on ourselves, remote at the ready like a gunslinger trying to relive the great old days. When the west was wild and the game still meant something. When the Real World was, for all intents, real and Ozzie was still picking feathers from his teeth.

Now we have every useless ass with an agent and a tenuous connection to fame getting a half hour a week to show us what wonders their lives are. I'll admit, some of these people are surprisingly worthwhile and some of the shows have had moments (if only briefly). Nevertheless, on the whole, the concept is wearing thin.

Somehow I found myself watching two guys named Corey, some girl named Denise and a trio of Lohans. The Lohans made me more edgy than any of it. Most likely due to having just watched the wreck that is Corey Haim trying to find something, anything, to grab onto.

I found myself wondering if the next young Lohan is going to make it through this early life without those same kind of scars. While the Lohan Matriarch seems to think she is navigating this all quite well (I'm not even going to dig into what happened to the first version), I am not so sure. What I saw was a 14-year-old, in Las Vegas, trying to cut an album with some casino owners, all the while being followed around by cameras whose purpose is to bare her "reality" to the public via this TV show. I saw crying and immaturity and a sincere desire to be a 14-year-old and not be stuck inside all day with a microphone.

I suppose it's not the worst thing to happen to a teen girl in this great America. I do wonder how 14-year-olds became such masters of their own domain though. If I got to do whatever the hell I wanted at that age, I wouldn't be the man I am today. But, perhaps I would be less angry.

Tune in next week as Denise Richards does nothing of interest, one of the Corey's goes off the deep end and Mrs Lohan continues to make dreams come true.

What a Croc

Not exactly. An alligator. What the hell? This place is really starting to fall into the realm of the insane.

A 4.5 foot gator was found in the South Branch of the Chicago River (I know the article says 5, but the Fox News chick just told me it was only 4.5 and from the footage, I would guess that to be close to accurate).

I guess I'll need some heavy artillery next time I go kayaking. The snapping turtles are bruisers, but they're like 100 years old and move about as fast as the concrete-shod corpses in there.

And Another Thing!

I forgot to mention that Todd Stroger cast a tiebreaking vote Tuesday on a scheme to have the city borrow $150 million as a bridge until the sales tax increase kicks in and saves the world.

The short term loan may cost as much as $9 million in fees and interest and should be paid back December 2009.

However, as Commissioner Larry Suffredin mentioned in the Trib article, the commissioners weren't told exactly what the fees or interest were going to be or what bond firm would be doing the deal.

How can you asswipes vote for something like this?

Stroge Me, Stroge Me

Todd Stroger, man of the people, finally got around to facing taxpayers in the northwest 'burbs of Chicago. Stroger, the Cook County Board President, was set to explain his $426 million tax hike.

The Background: Stroger is the son of the late John Stroger, who served as the Cook County Board President for 12 years. Todd was appointed to Alderman of the 8th Ward by The Mayor to replace Lorraine Dixon, who died in office. When his father, John, suffered a stroke in March of 2006, it didn't impede his winning the Democratic nomination and despite not being seen in public since the serious stroke, we were all informed by Todd that his father was going to run for County Board President yet again. In June of 2006, John was removed from the ballot and replaced by his son, Todd, per the decision of the Cook County Democratic Central Committee. The backing of The Mayor ensured that there was no opposition to this move and Todd was eventually elected to office in November of that year.

Stroger went on to hire his cousin as CFO and give her a nice $17,000 pay raise and his 2008 budget contained the largest ever Cook County sales tax increase for the county (a 1% increase to 1.75%)

Back to the present: After ducking an April 30th town hall meeting, Stroger finally made an appearance. When confronted with concerned citizens, Stroger was unfazed. Hearing claims of distrust and disgust did nothing to sway him; nor did the talk of secession. In fact, Stroger went in front of these fine folks to say, "people don't trust politicians....and that's the way this job works." He further informed the people that some people will get "pinched" by a sales tax increase.

Perhaps Todd isn't concered that Chicago now has the highest sales tax (10.25%) of any major US city. In fact, Stroger was trying to create a cash reserve as a hedge against future tax hikes.

Now that's balls. He's doing it for the people!

You're running a government, asshole. You don't get to hold the peoples' money in reserve for when your shortsited bullshit, rampant mismanagement and greasy hiring practices result in yet another budget shortfall.

Someone has to get pinched all right.

Roll Out.....What you got in that

Egg Roll.

You can start with anything. I went with ground pork and scallops. Tossed in super heated wok with a bit of oil and cooked it up quick. Set aside.

I then took chopped up baby portabellas, green onion, yellow peppers, and minced garlic and ginger, some salt and pepper (I know this doesn't seem very Asiany, but Whateva, I do what I want!) Flash that in the wok for a few minutes. This all takes very little time.

Threw it all back together with a little soy and oyster sauce, then added sprouts over top and covered so that the sprouts would steam. Done. Set the whole mess aside. You want to let it cool and get as much of the liquid drained as possible.

Taking the wraps, place a few tablespoons of filler in the middle and roll the bottom, then flap over the sides ("envelope style") and complete the roll. Use a little whisked egg to seal it up. The packaging on the pre-made wraps always have a handy little rolling diagram (WARNING: do not use this technique to roll other things).

Back to the wok, which now has some oil ready to go. Drop those little suckers in (or better yet, slide them in carefully and don't singe your arms like some people), watch them turn golden brown. Won't take long at all. If you aren't using a deep fryer, you can turn them carefully to ensure the bottom side doesn't burn.

I like to serve with plum sauce. You can do whatever the hell you want with them.