Free Water

Really, I'm trying to play nice. However, the city wonks are really making it difficult.

In a move toward infrastructure improvement, the city has started some sort of street demolition project. Sure, it sounds glorious, but it wears thin rather quickly.

Firstly, the nice city people put up some handsome paper signs on a few trees. I promptly ignored them as I don't park on the street. This was a failure on my part. I awoke one morning and after putting on my face and packing up my drugs and money roll, I waltzed outside toward my garage. I was confronted with the sight of three gigantic trucks being filled with broken asphalt. Trucks that were nicely parked in a row, blocking my drive. I took this as a sign from god that I should not go to work. No blood, no foul.

I did take a moment to read one of those signs, though. It seems that they are claiming martial law on my street until April 30 (starting the beginning of March or thereabouts). WTF is that all about? I understand Union Time, but come on. Poking around in the days following, it seemed this was not just my street, but for blocks surrounding my house.

At first opportunity, I got my car out on the cross street to claim a spot in front of my house so I wouldn't get blocked in the next day. This opportunity came around 2:30 pm, which is apparently the new 5 pm. Mr. Slate never would have stood for hours like this.

So, nobody has anywhere to park and I can't use my own damn garage unless I get up at 5 am, but you can traverse the street after hours. Unfortunately, if you get home later in the evening, good luck finding a parking spot. I managed to park directly in front of my house, but covering the cross walk. This is a foul. I know this, but hell, give me a damn break. I got a ticket, of course. I accept that, but why did they have to post the time on the ticket as 2 hours later than when I walked outside and found it on my car? Did they anticipate my scofflaw attitude would only increase while I sat at my desk downtown? And why, people, did the officer have to litter the adhesive strip backing from the ticket on my front lawn? Isn't all the other crap from the demolition enough? What about the no parking fliers that are now flopping wet and lost in my backyard like unwanted paper-mache materials?

Now this. I walk out this week to find that the workers decided to water my lawn. Thanks fellas! It was at least nice to see them working. It seems they don't work every day anymore. Sometimes the equipment and junk sits idly for days. They are sure taking that April 30 date to heart.

Tax dollars at work. Glory be!