The Birds - Duck!

I admit, it's not as frightening as the movie. However, my neighborhood birds have made a concerted effort to breach the outer defenses of my home this weekend. I think window technology has outpaced their aerial offensives. So far this weekend.....Birds - 0, Gabe's Double Pane's 5.

Though there have been quite a few survivors, I can only warn them about drunk flying so many times.

Anyway, my real point was that the usual culprits took a back seat today to a male Common Yellow-Shafted Flicker. An ant-eating woodpecker, this flicker is fairly large (especially for crashing into windows) and strikingly attractive.

Maybe he's just napping.

Deeper Down the Hole

OK, I'm a little off the deep end here, but I just don't see why the Trib is driving people to the competitor's site with their own daily email updates. Besides that, this email will start trending toward lazy blogger status (myself included). Just link a bit from somewhere else, write a sentence or two and pat yourself on the back.

I know they barely do anything beyond dressing up an AP item (if that), but is this really the best they have to offer? A Trib reporter couldn't get in touch with the web-site owner for Obama's Chocolate Nuts? If they start linking to ESPN.com for Cubs news, I'll know the jig is up for sure.

You Lazy Sons of Bitches

There are two main newspapers in Chicago, the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun Times. I don't count the the Red Eye, the Trib's children's version of news that is marketing to the kiddies in their 20s that haven't made the step up to real news yet. I shouldn't even count the Sun Times, whose main selling point is that it opens like a book and is therefore easier to read in transit - you know, for those ham-handed fuckwits that can't handle the Trib's traditional fold style while on the El. Those few that aren't actually listening to there Pods, shouting at their phone or pounding thumbs on their all-too-important emails.

I suppose you can guess that I prefer the Tribune. It's not solely due to their ownership of the Cubs, I just think they do a better job....or do they?

In my DayWatch daily email from the Trib, I was helpfully directed to the Sun Times. Are you fucking kidding me?

Here, the Trib gremlins helpfully start my day off with more discussion of Rev Jackson wanting to cut off a presidential candidate's balls for being too all inclusive and not wanting to damage his chances of election (and negate his overall message) by pandering to a limited section of the US voting populace.

But here.....here is where it all goes awry. To see The Mayor doing a Sox commercial or find out what local assclown, Mike North, is up to....I should link myself over to the Sun Times?

Not only that, but apparently The Onion stories are major news. It's small wonder these folks are still making a living at this.

Red Ass Pickles

Pickles and Kool-Aid. Lord knows what that freaky Kool-Aid Man would do with something like these, but I thought they were awesome and strange. It's tart and sweet. A good combination. Someone should make a candy like that.



The best thing about these is that they are stupidly easy to make. I let my dog make this first batch. She's no whiz in the kitchen, but she did a bang up job here. I don't even like pickles enough to have tried this (neither does the dog, thank god, or they never would have made it back into the jar), but I did it out of spite for all the odd food hating people out there who might gag thinking about it. Strangely, I really enjoyed these.



Alton Brown's recipe here, which is straight from the Mississippi Delta as part of his "Feasting on Asphalt" show.

Look at it's devilishly sweet redness:

So Long

My favorite animal at the Lincoln Park Zoo passed away the week before the 4th of July.

Yiet Yang was the oldest of only 136 snow leopards living in accredited zoos in North America. At 19 years of age, this cool cat suffered from chronic renal failure and a worsening lameness in her rear legs. Yiet was having trouble standing (and even keeping any balance) and had declined to such a state that the zoo felt the most compassionate thing for the animal was to euthanize her.

Yiet had spent almost all of her 19 years at LPZ (beyond the 15-year average life span of a wild snow leopard), having come to Chicago within a year of her birth in San Francisco. Whether you like zoos or not, this animal was a spectacular cat to see and always maintained the cool, edgy attitude of a wild cat.

I don't ever feel truly comfortable with zoos, but when they are well run and the habitats are given due consideration, the attempt at preservation and understanding does have some merit. Sadly, there are a lot of geriatrics at the LPZ lion house, including the black leopard, Marta, who will soon turn 19 as well. I'll have to get out and see how she's doing. It'll also give me a chance to view the wild roaming herds of asinine people.

Vibram Five Fingers

Sounds dirty don't it? Well, it's not.

The Vibram Five Fingers shoes are what is passing for my latest running related fun. Vibram calls it barefooting. The shoes are essentially a thin, stretchy fabric with a tough, rubber compound sole. My Flows have a neoprene lining and EVA footbed.

They have individual toe compartments and are akin to running barefoot. The individual toes allow the foot (and toes) to spread at impact, as is natural. Gone is the heel strike promoted by the usual running shoe, as the Five Fingers are meant to encourage mid-foot striking.

The folks at Vibram say it might take a bit to adjust, but I wasn't much of a heel striker anyway. This is the way my feet want to run. I trail run for the most part and the sole is plenty to avoid pain from any random pointy things on the ground. The lightness is a joy and I have significantly reduced my tally of ankle turns - something I am intimately familiar with due to the combination of running terrain and my running partner and which was not helped in the least by my shoes.

I'll admit that putting them on out of the box, my initial reaction was "what the fuck is wrong with my toes" as it didn't seem like they wanted anything to do with the seemingly natural configuration of the Fingers. However, that went away quickly and I find no issue pulling them on since that initial try.

These things are fooking cool. I have no idea to what degree (literally) these will suffice in the Chicago winter, but I'm going to find out (the Injinji toe socks should help a little).

Bite Me

I am taking a moment to rant some more about language. I know I make words up, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone should do it. Language is a living thing. Don't let anything be a roadblock to the constant reinvention of language.

That said.....mouthfeel? Are you fucking kidding me?

I know I'm biased since I first heard it uttered by some bottled water company spokesfucker. Nevertheless, could you come up with a word that has worse mouthfeel than mouthfeel? It sits like a turd on your tongue and it sounds like a burbling ass fissure.

Why wasn't texture good enough for you? Do you think you actually invented a new sense? Do you think it will convince me to buy your overpriced water? Tactile sensation sounds much cooler doesn't it?

Bad enough that shyster snake oil salesmen are using it to differentiate their water (usually bottled from your municipal supplies) from your tap, but now I see it in food blogs and forums. I gather it's been around a bit and I'm sure you freaky beer brewers have been using it for years in musty, dark corners, but if I hear a coworker spew this bit of verbiage at lunch, I'm going to fork him (or her) in the bum. Nothing ruins a thing like some pompous fuckwit trying to impress.