Bite Me

I am taking a moment to rant some more about language. I know I make words up, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone should do it. Language is a living thing. Don't let anything be a roadblock to the constant reinvention of language.

That said.....mouthfeel? Are you fucking kidding me?

I know I'm biased since I first heard it uttered by some bottled water company spokesfucker. Nevertheless, could you come up with a word that has worse mouthfeel than mouthfeel? It sits like a turd on your tongue and it sounds like a burbling ass fissure.

Why wasn't texture good enough for you? Do you think you actually invented a new sense? Do you think it will convince me to buy your overpriced water? Tactile sensation sounds much cooler doesn't it?

Bad enough that shyster snake oil salesmen are using it to differentiate their water (usually bottled from your municipal supplies) from your tap, but now I see it in food blogs and forums. I gather it's been around a bit and I'm sure you freaky beer brewers have been using it for years in musty, dark corners, but if I hear a coworker spew this bit of verbiage at lunch, I'm going to fork him (or her) in the bum. Nothing ruins a thing like some pompous fuckwit trying to impress.