Stroger Watch

I know that Chicago politics is ugly, but this guy is a caricature. Stroger doesn't think he gets a fair deal from the media. He thinks his political opponents (Commissioners Forrest Claypool and Tony Peraica) don't understand county government. I'm pretty sure they don't. At least not the way Todd does government.

Chicago already has the highest sales tax rate in the nation because Todd's expertise couldn't figure out how to reduce expense while simultaneously adding loads of new employees and still act like the traditional fat cat. All the while his friends and relations muddle through the days playing governemnt under his "tutelage".

Now a Trib report (of a Sun Times report, no less) tells us of the ill-fated Cook County magazine. A magazine that cost $24,999 because $25,000 requires approval from the county board. A magazine that was so poorly produced that it is "riddled with misspellings and other errors". A Frankenstein monster of a magazine that is so hideous and humiliating to it's creators that the 5,000 copies are stuffed away in the halls of government, never to be distributed.

I don't think this is what Todd had in mind when the magazine was commissioned to create a "non-threatening news environment that ensures regular, positive press -- to counter-balance negative press often found in the mainstream media."

We love you, Todd. Just not in that way. Stop fucking up my world with your bullshit.

But It's On TV

The August 1 solar eclipse will not be visible in my sky. It will be visible in parts of Northern Canada, Greenland, the Arctic, Central Russian, Mongolia and China (where favorable weather will likely provide for the best viewing).

Never fear. NASA TV is going to stream a live webcast from 6am-8:15am EDT. The totality (the period of total eclipse) will occur from 7:08-7:10am EDT. The NASA webcast will continue until 11am as part of the Sun-Earth Day Celebration.

All you goofy folks can go to Exploratorium Island on some thing called Second Life to catch the live video stream.

WWHD?

I know what Jeez would have done. He would bitch slap you. But, Hitler? What the hell would he do? I mean besides growing that fugly 'stach.

According to Ben Stein's opinion of Obama in the Metrodome, "Seventy-five-thousand people at an outdoor sports palace, well, that's something the Fuhrer would have done."

Well, first of all, the Metrodome is not a god damned palace. It is damned, but it ain't no palace. Secondly, can't we go with something better than Hitler? I mean, that has to be a joke, right? It is for every other adult with an internet connection. Isn't it?

Stein, " It's like Juan Peron." OK, that's better.

To quote the scarily cool Nancy Botwin, "What the F?"

How stupid are we? Why do these people still get to spew this nonsense to the public? OK, you don't like the guy. I can see that. Nobody is perfect. McCain has issues. We know the "Mc" in a surname means "son of" and Cain was the first murder, so.....

But is a speech in the M'Dome really as "scarily authoritarian" as anything else that's been going on lately?

I would rather hear Stein prattle on about Intelligent Design. I think Hitler would like that too.

Damn. Did I just lose my own fucking post?

Oh, well. Remember when Strom had that record long filibuster back in '57? Do you think he knew he would be in office until he was 100 years of age? That's the kind of thing that lets you know things are running smoothly.

Does a Bear Shit in a Mine?

In yet another example of violent video games' impact on bears, a mob of 30 bears in Moscow have killed and eaten two men at a platinum mining company in Kamchatka.

After ganking the two men (security guards for the mining company), the bears camped the location. Nearly 400 workers are refusing to go back to work until someone clears the area of these ursine bullies.

We Do It Because We Care

If I had any amount of music purchased from these jokers, I would be peeved. This is the kind of thing that makes people seek out "less restrictive" sources of digital music. While the service that sent me this email may have been easy to access, shiny and bubbly, it wasn't really meant to make your life easier. It is a revenue generating machine with no concern for you or your music.



To you sirs, I say, shove that valid license key up your ass.

Steaming My Buns

I finally had time to pull my head up out of the gin barrel and steam some buns. These things are great and I've been meaning to do an at-home batch for a bit, but they take a some time with the dough prep and such. I managed to get home yesterday at a reasonable enough hour to give it a go. Frankly, I had it in my mind to do it either way, but that is the way of the world.

I used the bones of a recipe from Chowtimes.com for the dough. I cut the recipe in half and used the basic recipe, though with water, coconut milk, and butter in leiu of milk and margarine and ditched the egg entirely. Simple stuff. Mix it up, then knead into a smooth ball and let it sit, covered.



Meanwhile, I mushed up some ground pork, red cabbage, and spring onion with sesame oil, soy, pepper, salt, a pinch of sugar, curry powder and a touch of smoky bbq sauce and let that stew in it's own uncooked juices while waiting for the dough.

When the dough ball was ready to go, I followed the Chowtimes plan and rolled it out into a longish log, then cut the log into pieces. I got about 9 out of it, if I recall correctly. These small pieces are then rolled into rounds, thicker in the middle. I dropped some filling in the middle of each and pinched them up....or stuffed 'em, or zipped 'em shut...something. I'm not sure what happened. It was inelegant and the buns were not uniform in size or shape. Who cares? I was starting to faint from hunger and knew it was going to be a while yet. Plus, the dog was looking at me sternly and threatening to piss the floor.

I moistened those buns and dabbed them in some sesame seed, then put those bad girls in the steamer on a tiny scrap of parchment paper. They took another 30 minutes to rise while the dog and I lounged outside.

After steaming, I can say those buns were really tasty. I will do this again. Probably try the half steam, half fry version to get a crispy outside. I also want to do the soup buns. Primarily so I can say "aspic" repeatedly. Say it with me...assssspiK.

Don't judge my lumpy looking buns, they are soft, warm and tasty. You like big buns and you cannot lie. And I know you wan't some of that hot sauce on one of my buns.

Berries

The Birds - Duck!

I admit, it's not as frightening as the movie. However, my neighborhood birds have made a concerted effort to breach the outer defenses of my home this weekend. I think window technology has outpaced their aerial offensives. So far this weekend.....Birds - 0, Gabe's Double Pane's 5.

Though there have been quite a few survivors, I can only warn them about drunk flying so many times.

Anyway, my real point was that the usual culprits took a back seat today to a male Common Yellow-Shafted Flicker. An ant-eating woodpecker, this flicker is fairly large (especially for crashing into windows) and strikingly attractive.

Maybe he's just napping.

Deeper Down the Hole

OK, I'm a little off the deep end here, but I just don't see why the Trib is driving people to the competitor's site with their own daily email updates. Besides that, this email will start trending toward lazy blogger status (myself included). Just link a bit from somewhere else, write a sentence or two and pat yourself on the back.

I know they barely do anything beyond dressing up an AP item (if that), but is this really the best they have to offer? A Trib reporter couldn't get in touch with the web-site owner for Obama's Chocolate Nuts? If they start linking to ESPN.com for Cubs news, I'll know the jig is up for sure.

You Lazy Sons of Bitches

There are two main newspapers in Chicago, the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun Times. I don't count the the Red Eye, the Trib's children's version of news that is marketing to the kiddies in their 20s that haven't made the step up to real news yet. I shouldn't even count the Sun Times, whose main selling point is that it opens like a book and is therefore easier to read in transit - you know, for those ham-handed fuckwits that can't handle the Trib's traditional fold style while on the El. Those few that aren't actually listening to there Pods, shouting at their phone or pounding thumbs on their all-too-important emails.

I suppose you can guess that I prefer the Tribune. It's not solely due to their ownership of the Cubs, I just think they do a better job....or do they?

In my DayWatch daily email from the Trib, I was helpfully directed to the Sun Times. Are you fucking kidding me?

Here, the Trib gremlins helpfully start my day off with more discussion of Rev Jackson wanting to cut off a presidential candidate's balls for being too all inclusive and not wanting to damage his chances of election (and negate his overall message) by pandering to a limited section of the US voting populace.

But here.....here is where it all goes awry. To see The Mayor doing a Sox commercial or find out what local assclown, Mike North, is up to....I should link myself over to the Sun Times?

Not only that, but apparently The Onion stories are major news. It's small wonder these folks are still making a living at this.

Red Ass Pickles

Pickles and Kool-Aid. Lord knows what that freaky Kool-Aid Man would do with something like these, but I thought they were awesome and strange. It's tart and sweet. A good combination. Someone should make a candy like that.



The best thing about these is that they are stupidly easy to make. I let my dog make this first batch. She's no whiz in the kitchen, but she did a bang up job here. I don't even like pickles enough to have tried this (neither does the dog, thank god, or they never would have made it back into the jar), but I did it out of spite for all the odd food hating people out there who might gag thinking about it. Strangely, I really enjoyed these.



Alton Brown's recipe here, which is straight from the Mississippi Delta as part of his "Feasting on Asphalt" show.

Look at it's devilishly sweet redness:

So Long

My favorite animal at the Lincoln Park Zoo passed away the week before the 4th of July.

Yiet Yang was the oldest of only 136 snow leopards living in accredited zoos in North America. At 19 years of age, this cool cat suffered from chronic renal failure and a worsening lameness in her rear legs. Yiet was having trouble standing (and even keeping any balance) and had declined to such a state that the zoo felt the most compassionate thing for the animal was to euthanize her.

Yiet had spent almost all of her 19 years at LPZ (beyond the 15-year average life span of a wild snow leopard), having come to Chicago within a year of her birth in San Francisco. Whether you like zoos or not, this animal was a spectacular cat to see and always maintained the cool, edgy attitude of a wild cat.

I don't ever feel truly comfortable with zoos, but when they are well run and the habitats are given due consideration, the attempt at preservation and understanding does have some merit. Sadly, there are a lot of geriatrics at the LPZ lion house, including the black leopard, Marta, who will soon turn 19 as well. I'll have to get out and see how she's doing. It'll also give me a chance to view the wild roaming herds of asinine people.

Vibram Five Fingers

Sounds dirty don't it? Well, it's not.

The Vibram Five Fingers shoes are what is passing for my latest running related fun. Vibram calls it barefooting. The shoes are essentially a thin, stretchy fabric with a tough, rubber compound sole. My Flows have a neoprene lining and EVA footbed.

They have individual toe compartments and are akin to running barefoot. The individual toes allow the foot (and toes) to spread at impact, as is natural. Gone is the heel strike promoted by the usual running shoe, as the Five Fingers are meant to encourage mid-foot striking.

The folks at Vibram say it might take a bit to adjust, but I wasn't much of a heel striker anyway. This is the way my feet want to run. I trail run for the most part and the sole is plenty to avoid pain from any random pointy things on the ground. The lightness is a joy and I have significantly reduced my tally of ankle turns - something I am intimately familiar with due to the combination of running terrain and my running partner and which was not helped in the least by my shoes.

I'll admit that putting them on out of the box, my initial reaction was "what the fuck is wrong with my toes" as it didn't seem like they wanted anything to do with the seemingly natural configuration of the Fingers. However, that went away quickly and I find no issue pulling them on since that initial try.

These things are fooking cool. I have no idea to what degree (literally) these will suffice in the Chicago winter, but I'm going to find out (the Injinji toe socks should help a little).

Bite Me

I am taking a moment to rant some more about language. I know I make words up, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone should do it. Language is a living thing. Don't let anything be a roadblock to the constant reinvention of language.

That said.....mouthfeel? Are you fucking kidding me?

I know I'm biased since I first heard it uttered by some bottled water company spokesfucker. Nevertheless, could you come up with a word that has worse mouthfeel than mouthfeel? It sits like a turd on your tongue and it sounds like a burbling ass fissure.

Why wasn't texture good enough for you? Do you think you actually invented a new sense? Do you think it will convince me to buy your overpriced water? Tactile sensation sounds much cooler doesn't it?

Bad enough that shyster snake oil salesmen are using it to differentiate their water (usually bottled from your municipal supplies) from your tap, but now I see it in food blogs and forums. I gather it's been around a bit and I'm sure you freaky beer brewers have been using it for years in musty, dark corners, but if I hear a coworker spew this bit of verbiage at lunch, I'm going to fork him (or her) in the bum. Nothing ruins a thing like some pompous fuckwit trying to impress.