The joys of work-life include the myriad strange logo objects that come to your attention. I don't know who authorizes these things or why. Probably the same person that makes sure there is plenty of green paper, but no black pens. I do know why they end up as white elephants, ceaselessly marching from desktop to desktop. These things are simply not fit for public consumption, much less as an objet d'art with which to woo savvy clients.
Take our wonderful globe. It's inflatable. What fun! In a nod to subtlety, our globe has the corporate logo emblazoned on no less than 3 locations. It also indicates the ocean currents, the location of both Chicagos, the relocation of Savannah into central Florida, a wonderful new city called Shreve Port, and the fact that Mexico has been annexed into the Central American geographic region.
This is not a problem. Geography is difficult and, thankfully, here in the US we are too addled to even know the globe is incorrect (maybe it's not, how the hell do I know*). It certainly isn't a problem that the office is located in Chicago. If anything, that's a bonus. Let those jackasses with their "customer service" issues try to find us now! Not only that, but it also doubles as a bowling ball if you have ten empty water bottles handy.
* Shoutouts to gamerKidBilly86 for his excellently edited and researched Wikipedia article on the new Central Amerika, without which I could not have completed this awesome blahg post. Also, I should mention my mom, who has a cooler iPod than I do and who I look up to and hope to convince that bigger really is better. Final trade. No takebacks!
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